I know I’ve been MIA. And I wish, wish, wish it was only because I am so busy that I haven’t had a second to write. But, my absence here hasn’t been a time issue.
Our family recently lost a dear friend to cancer, and there really isn’t much that I don’t see through the lens of loss and grief these days. Bottom line, it’s been a shitty, shitty spring.
I’ve been writing a lot, but nothing that I’m ready to publish. And, reading a ton. I’ve also spent many hours sitting still, forcing myself to stay in the moment, trying to be present and available for our friend’s grieving wife and children.
I hope that with a little more time and a little more space, I can get back to writing for this blog.
I will share two things: I recently listened to an episode of the podcast On Being featuring Sheryl Sandberg talking about the unexpected death of her husband and her book that followed, Option B. If you’re suffering from traumatic loss or the pain of grieving (or supporting someone who is), I recommend it. Or if you’re like me, and always struggle with what to say, what to do, and how to be around someone in grief, it’s good for that too.
And here is an excerpt from what I shared at my friend’s memorial, because I think there are lessons for us all here:
“To spend time with Scott, was to know his unique ability to hold space for you. He had a special way of giving you the room to be exactly who you needed to be, without having to protect or defend or assert yourself. He wouldn’t try to take over your space with his stuff. He made room for you to be yourself, something so rare and special in our world today.
When I was around Scott, I felt like I had air to breath, that I was heard, and that what I was offering in that moment was enough, even when it was very, very little.
His ability to hold space was a gift unlike any other I have received. It was a gift to have him in my life, and it is a gift to stand here and share it with you. And that my friends is grace. Because we can all learn from Scott’s gift. Let’s make space for each other to live fully as ourselves, and in that way, Scott will always be with us.”
Be grateful. Be well.
P.S. I did give my blog a little facelift (she was looking a little 2012), so stop by and check it out.