What I Learned About Rejection After a Year of Seeking It Out

Last October I joined a group of creative entrepreneurs (artists, writers, designers, bloggers, makers, coaches) who planned to spend a year seeking out as much rejection as possible, putting ourselves out there, pitching, asking for what we want, and taking our businesses and lives to the next level.

Here I am a year later to share with you what I learned after spending the past year seeking out rejection.

1. Things change. And that’s okay.

The original goal of the project was to get 100 rejection letters, but as the program progressed, I became less focused on the tally and more interested in how to build a business that meets my goals. This involved asking really hard questions and being okay when the answers weren’t what was expected. The project evolved, I evolved, my business and goals evolved–and it was okay.

But for those interested, here’s the tally: I sent out around 80 pitches/inquiries and got over 30 yes’s and about 50 rejections.

2. Being rejected is way better than never knowing.

This is what those 50 rejections taught me: Hearing no is way better than always wondering if something could have happened. And the sting of rejection is so temporary. It lasts under thirty seconds. A small pit in the stomach, a little disappointment, and that’s it. It’s over and you’re free to either move on or try again.

3. Goals, goal, goals.

I set lofty goals, and I was disciplined about being organized and meeting the deadlines that I needed to reach them. Did I meet every single one? Of course not. But if you don’t know what you are trying to achieve, or what the goal is, it’s pretty much impossible to get traction on anything.

4. Fear is loud, so get some ear plugs.

Fear, ego, that not-so-subtle voice in your head, reminding you that you suck, are not worthy and should hang it up, is very loud. And can be dangerously persuasive. You have to learn how to ignore it, push past it, and do it anyway. Just like anything else, practice can make ignoring fear easier, but for me, fear hasn’t completely gone away.

I want you to know this:

Rejection sucks. But not doing anything to reach your goals and discover your purpose and place in this world sucks more.

If you’re interested in going all in with Tiffany Han and 100 Rejection Letters, you can learn more here. The next year of the program starts in just a few weeks.

When Kaly doesn’t have her nose in a book, she wrangles and referees two elementary age boys and blogs about her humorous efforts to lead a mindful, connected life. She’s the author of Good Move: Strategy and Advice for Your Family’s Relocation a book about the craziness of moving with kids. Her writing has been featured on sites such as Mamalode, The Mid, In The Powder Room, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and Scary Mommy to name a few. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.