the slippery slope of a broken routine

It’s a slippery slope.

Taking a break from a routine.

Just one more piece of Halloween candy…

I’ll get back to yoga tomorrow…

One more night of take-out…

The wine is already open, might as well have a glass…

I think I’m giving myself a break, a treat, a little grace period.

But that break, that treat – it’s making me feel like crap.

This is a hard time of year.

The colder weather leaves us hunched and drained.

The shorter days make us crawl towards bed at an earlier hour.

The impending holidays lengthen our to-do lists. They increase their demands on our already limited resources.

But the short-term relief of these little concessions, isn’t worth the long term consequences.

Last year at Thanksgiving, I went off the rails. I was tired of being diligent and having to pass up certain foods (foods that have proved over and over again to make me sick). I gave myself an extended break from the lifestyle that keeps me healthy. I skipped yoga. I added in some more wine. I let loose on sugar, gluten and dairy. I stopped checking ingredients for corn.

By New Year’s Day, my little break had landed me in bed for a week. I promised myself, I swore, I would remember that feeling. You would think that would be enough to snap me out if it. But here I am contemplating giving myself another grace period even though I know that easing up is not what I need.

Easing up can be an excuse and an avoidance.

A short cut feels like cheating, when it is.

I don’t need to ease up. I need to push harder.

I need to push harder in the areas that I know will make me feel better. I need to ease up on what I know makes me feel worse.

It’s not a treat if it has you slip sliding over the edge.

And it’s a slippery slope.