summer looms

Nine and a half months out of the year, with a few breaks for vacation here and there, I manage my own time. I put the boys on the bus at 8:25 and I have until 3:50 to do whatever the heck I want. Or more realistically, I do whatever needs to get done: exercise, write, work, run errands, do chores. All of this happens in my condensed work day.

And then there’s summer.

I’m coming clean.

I dread summer.

Yep. I said it. I dread summer.

Summer feels like something that has to be endured, survived. It’s the ultimate test of resourcefulness. And patience.

Summer means looking at strings of days that my kids don’t want to do anything. But yet, they’re constantly bored.

And I’m a total believer (like Anna Quindlen) that you should have to stare down your own boredom every once in awhile and figure out how to deal with it. The problem is that nine out of ten times the cure for boredom is fighting with your brother.

It seems as if summer exists purely to test me.

I’m not crafty. I’m not patient. Big messes make me cringe. Projects that bring all of the craft supplies out of hiding and then fizzle out ten minutes later drive me bonkers.

I like a schedule. I love a routine.  I like early bed times.

In the summer, there’s this pressure to have fun. I’m all for fun. But summer brings the expectation that I will be in charge of facilitating fun. And the truth is I’m just not that interested in being in charge of fun.

Plus it’s not just any old kind of fun, but the right level of fun that is scheduled and spontaneous at the same time. The kind of fun that allows for enough free time to roam without having enough free time to drive each other crazy.

You know that feeling on Sunday evening when you can’t get them in bed fast enough because Monday means it’s someone else’s turn? A sort of tired relief?

You never get that in summer.

You’re probably thinking, Um, shut up and put them in camp already.

And I hear you. Camp is something that I obsess over daily. I’m completely conflicted. They need structure. I need freedom. And then I look at the price and think, I guess they’re getting freedom this year.

This is what the perfect summer camp would look like. A bus picks them up every morning and drops them back home in the afternoon and it’s free. Oh wait. That’s school.

I decide to tackle summer head on. I will pass this test. I will not let summer defeat me.

I make lists of places to go, adventures to have. I start this list on January 5th.

Even IKEA is on that list. $10 to buy whatever you want and $1 ice cream cone while being blasted by AC? A cheap way to kill two hours.

Preparation and planning seem to be a good way, possibly the only way, to beat back the threat that summer brings.

Here’s some highly educational and multi-disciplinary activities I’ve cooked up for my kids –

~ Try every ice cream and frozen yogurt place within five miles, chart them on a map, write reviews (in French) and build a web site to share what you find

~ Adopt (figuratively not literally) an animal from the zoo, spend hours researching the species and observing its behavior and make a documentary about it filmed on an iPad

~ Pick an artist from the Philadelphia Museum of Art and learn to paint in their same technique, plan a gallery show and opening and sell what you’ve created (you keep the profits after you pay me back for the art supplies), Etsy store optional

~ Write a memoir in the style of your favorite author, illustrate it and submit to at least five agents

~ Train for a triathlon, log your progress (bonus points for teaching yourself how to swim), hold a triathlon, design your own t-shirt for finishing

~ Develop three ideas for apps related to Minecraft, pitch them to me (and maybe a VC firm or two?) with multimedia presentations

~ Hold a Lego sale, I’ll only take 15%

~ Hold a Pokemon sale, you can keep every dime

~ Start a whiffle ball league getting sponsors, recruiting players and sourcing uniforms

~ Form a band, cut a single, release it on YouTube, hold a free concert in the park which you can promote with the flyer you design, print and distribute – don’t forget to get a permit (Civics!)

~ Open a smoothie stand (lemonade is over), grow your own kale for said smoothies, logo design and signage required

~ Commit to breaking the world record for how many hours in a row you can play Minecraft, it’s time to stop messing around and really go for it

~ Make a movie about your summer, create a poster, have an outdoor screening, sell popcorn and during the previews cross market your French ice cream review site, save the zoo animals campaign, Etsy store, upcoming book, annual triathlon, new apps, toy sales, whiffle ball league, new album, smoothie stand and Minecraft record

Now that sounds like a summer.

Raise your hand if you think I’m joking?

How do you know?

I don’t even know.

Okay, I give.

We’ll be at the pool sucking down lukewarm Capri Sun’s and squabbling over an old mildewy football.

And once, maybe two times a week, we’ll be at IKEA.

Ahhhh…..summer.