I am completely fascinated and maybe a little obsessed with social media. But it’s not the actual media outlets themselves, although I do spend time on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and FlipBoard daily. Yes, it’s a lot. But since I have a blog, I am trying to get my voice out there too. My fascination is less with the content and more with the behaviors around social media and how it impacts our connections.
How is social media really playing itself out in our lives?
Why do people share what they share? And is it about sharing or the feedback that we get from our collected likes, retweets, hearts, and repins? Recent studies show that sharing information about yourself stimulates the same part of your brain as hardcore drug addictions.
It feels good to share. As Brené would say, we’re hard wired for connection.
But is it helping or hindering our life experiences and real life connections? As this article points out, technology can keep us from being the parents (insert spouse, friend, sibling) we need to be. Opting for screen time instead of face time it turns out isn’t so great for our relationships.
Is constant access through our mobile devices convenient or cutting us off? Is it connecting us or programming us to never be alone? Dave Eggers new book The Circle dives into the evils of a fictional social media company which in turn inspired this writer to quit Twitter. She realized that her compulsion to always be checking her social media accounts was enabling her to tune out and never be alone with her own thoughts.
Do we even know what we’re getting ourselves into?
A few months ago I participated in a week-long social media detox as part of a class I was taking. The point was not that social media is bad but sometimes we have to turn it all the way off so that we can hear ourselves think. While I was on my detox, I felt more truly connected to myself and the life that was happening in front of me vs. reaching for my phone every 90 seconds.
Social media is here. It’s not going anywhere. We have to learn to live with it. It is possible to use it for good and not evil. I’m calling this conscious social media. You don’t need to throw your phone off a cliff and judge people for posting everything they do on Facebook.
Tip: Block those people from your newsfeed.
If we can just be a little bit more aware, conscious of our behaviors, then we can have both – healthy engagement with social media and healthy relationships with the people we value most.
I’ve noticed that I developed the habit of reaching for my phone for a little information fix any time there’s a lull or quiet moment in my day. Sometimes I have to check myself and remember that if I’m browsing Twitter while I’m in another person’s company, the not-so-subtle message I’m sending them is, “You are not that important to me.”
Are you creeping toward social media addiction?
Here are a few rules I’m challenging myself to uphold when it comes to checking social media. I want to be more engaged with the world around me and less engaged in my phone screen.
No checking in lines or while waiting
No checking while walking
No checking while eating
Be more mindful when my kids and husband are in the room
When I start to feel that itch to pick up my phone, look around, notice three things about my environment and smile instead.
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