three things i’m tossing out the window

I’m going a little tough love on myself this week. I have some go-to excuses that I’ve been using (admittedly for years) that keep me from getting to the things that I say are really important to me. We all have that list whether it’s the big sort of dreams that we’re not going after or the little daily choices like eating healthy or staying organized. So it’s time to banish the excuses and get down to business. Here are three things I’m tossing out the window…

1. There’s a right way. I’m the ultimate rule follower. You will never find me cutting a line or parking illegally.  You will never find me squatting in someone else’s seat at a ticketed event.  It happened once, and the shame of being booted from our pilfered seats is still enough to make me hide my head in my hands. I get pretty stuck in this mindset, and I forget that there is not one right way to see results. I’ve been programmed to believe that if you work hard and follow directions, you’ll get the right answer. And then you’ll be rewarded. That’s where success lives. I get so hung up on finding the right way that I don’t even get started on the path. I’m learning to trust myself, let go of comparisons, and be willing to go the other way in a world packed full of one-way signs. But I draw the line at squatting in someone else’s seat. That’s just wrong.

2. I don’t have time. We’re all busy. We convince ourselves that our time is out of our control and that we don’t have a choice. We throw up our hands – no time! But the truth is, I choose how to spend my time. I am in control. Every moment is a choice.  I have to know my values, be clear about my priorities and make choices accordingly. Sometimes this really sucks. I have to say no to an activity that my kids are interested in or I have to turn down birthday party invitations. I have to choose exercise over spending time with friends. Or my hanging out with my husband over watching the lastest episode of (insert current obsession here). Or family over work. Or even harder, work over family. We’ve all been there. But not having time isn’t a valid excuse for not getting to things. Instead of I don’t have time, I’m switching to It’s not a priority for me right now.

3. I don’t know how. One person can’t know everything. If I don’t know how, I need to admit it and ask someone who does. There’s such a premium put on being resourceful and independent and self-reliant. But I waste a ton of time either avoiding a task or trying to teach myself. I was recently having issues with my wireless and after weeks of trying to ignore it, I spent a good hour online trying to research and trouble shoot the problem. Then I realized I will never be a wireless expert.  And I don’t want to be a wireless expert. But my brother is. He creates and installs wireless networks for a living. Even if I studied for a hundred years, he would still know more. So why am I even bothering? He was happy to help by the way. On the other hand, there are some things that you can teach yourself to do. Like I built this web site by following online tutorials. (Because I’m good at following directions, see #1). But building a web site is a skill that I’m happy to have. Either way, I don’t know how isn’t going to fly around here anymore.

Have any go-to excuses of your own? If you hear me use any of these, please feel free to call me out. But be gentle. It’s a work in progress.