Summer Vacation

Blogs motivated by guilt don’t make very good blogs. But here I am, trying to write something, anything, because I refuse to abandon my blog.

Since I started working in December, my relationship to writing has changed. It’s scary to admit, but it’s true. Between the writing and social media I maintain for my job and the time that I want to spend with my family, and the front porch of summer that’s beckoning me to “come sit down, read for awhile, be still,” I am writing the barest minimum.

And I hear the collective “tsk” of the universe.

I picture Elizabeth Gilbert sitting at her computer looking at me over the top of her glasses saying, “Kaly, I told you that there were going to be hard choices. It was never going to be easy.”

And I start to question my choices. I wonder if I am being true to myself. If I’m walking the walk. Or if I’m just talking the talk.

But. But I do have two different book projects that I am slowly chipping away at. And when I say slowly, I mean slooooowly. I am the tortoise. I am the tortoise after four Ativan. I am word by word crawling on my hands and knees.

But. I am doing it.

If you’ve been following my blog for awhile you’ll know that it’s been through a lot of different iterations. I’ve written about a lot of different topics in an effort to find my own voice. I have to believe that all of this writing has been for some purpose. Even if it’s not entirely clear to me what it is yet.

I had big plans for this summer. How organized I was going to be. I even drafted a blog post: The Working Mom’s Guide to Surviving Summer. I made a to-do list of all of the ways that I was going to be prepared for summer and then went on to do zero of the things on that list. We’re already out of sunscreen and food and ideas of things for the babysitter to do with the kids.

And then my dishwasher stopped working and the only thing I could do was muster up the will to watch the latest episode of UnReal.

I sat down to write this with the foregone conclusion that I would be taking a break from blogging this summer. That I was going to read late every night in the name of research. That I was going to let myself make summertime choices and enjoy the break from the routine of the school year. But now, after writing this, it feels nice to be back. To be putting the thoughts that have been rattling my brain into words.

Even if I don’t have all of the answers or a clear path, I will continue to put “butt in chair”. (Anne Lamott’s secret to writing,) Even when I don’t have any “good” ideas. Even when I feel like there isn’t anything that hasn’t already been said.

So maybe there’s an ease here. And that’s the next evolution of this blog.

When I first started writing this blog I promised only to show up, and tell the truth.

And maybe that’s all it has to be. It doesn’t have to be a platform with a strategy that’s always growing. I have a job where I can do that.

Maybe it’s just me and you, sitting on my front porch with a glass of wine talking about this crazy life and what it’s all for.

When Kaly doesn’t have her nose in a book, she wrangles and referees two elementary age boys and blogs about her humorous efforts to lead a mindful, connected life. She’s the author of Good Move: Strategy and Advice for Your Family’s Relocation, a book about the craziness of moving with kids. Her writing has been featured on sites such as Mamalode, The Mid, In The Powder Room, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and Scary Mommy to name a few. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.