Last week I found myself at a classroom event for my first grade son, and it seemed that every parent was snapping away and/or video taping the performance.
But not me. I don’t take pictures at school events.*
And I’m thinking. Who would want to watch this again with bad lighting and poor sound? Much less see some blurry pictures? Doesn’t your arm hurt from holding your phone at that angle for 37 minutes?
The performance was cute. And lovely. And completely enjoyable. But once is enough.
And before you go saying, Oh but it’s for people that can’t be there.
I hear you. Scheduling is not easy. But I’ve chosen to take a tough love approach. You either work it into your schedule or you don’t.
I will help my children learn their lines and remember to bring in any props, costumes, poster boards, but it’s not my priority to be their personal PR rep disseminating their appearances through various channels.
I came, I smiled, I clapped, I waved when I caught my son’s eye, and I even teared up once or twice.
And as far as I’m concerned that’s more than enough.
When I think about my favorite memories and photos from my own childhood not a single school performance rises to the top. My kids will not be missing out if they don’t have an encyclopedic record of every time they donned a costume or sang in a group.
I’m trying to remind myself that every experience doesn’t have to captured. Documented. Shared. Are we afraid we’ll forget? Or is it about freezing time?
Can we trust ourselves that we’ll remember what really matters? The feeling of joy. And the feeling of being so, so proud of our favorite growing people. And even being a little bit proud of ourselves – I am responsible for that other person making their way in this world.
We can re-sing the songs and talk about it over dinner and share how it went. The memory is in the retelling and the story that builds. It’s rarely in the snapshot.
So I’m issuing a challenge to all the parents and audiences out there. Ask yourself before you pull out the iPhone or camera, who are these pictures for and why? And how many of them are ever worth keeping? And doesn’t your child deserve your full presence and attention? Because whether you realize it or not, being there is enough.
*I’m not talking about graduations or social events. I’m not totally heartless. I’m talking about class and grade wide performances, plays, concerts and things like that.
So true and yet so hard to apply…..I need to take that challenge!
I know it’s hard when you’re family is long distance…but it might be worth a try.
Not to mention the fact that when you are snapping pictures or videotaping, you are not really EXPERIENCING the event. You’re watching it through a video screen! I tend to take more pictures than most, but I’ve decided that a) I don’t have the energy for constant recording of our lives, and that’s OK, and b) I enjoy things much more when I’m present in the moment.
Great post!
Yes – the energy!!! The time and energy spent on something that in the grand scheme of things is not that important. Good for you for embracing the moment. It will be interesting how different it will be for our kids with digital images and video. Most families have 1000’s and 1000’s of images. Will anyone ever look at them? Or in the end, will it be one big time suck? It’s hard to remember in the moment that just because we can, doesn’t mean we need to!!!