Last week I wrote about how during the holidays I walk the line between wanting to do and buy everything and taking on way too much and feeling overwhelmed. Plus I’m feeling this pressure, admittedly totally self-created and self-imposed that since we are in a new city and in a new home, the holidays need to be more magical then ever. This is so ridiculous on so many levels, but it’s there sitting in my head taunting me. If anything, I should get a complete free pass for Christmas considering what a nutty year it’s been. Gifts? Cards? Sorry – just didn’t get to it. We moved this year.
Since I don’t have the year off, I spent a good part of Sunday mapping out the month of December. Part of this mapping is to make sure that we get to do the things we want to do, uphold traditions that have become important to us, and also get the stuff done that needs to get done. Part of it is to make me feel like things are under control.
And while I was doing this mapping which included a decent amount of Pinterest gazing (come on by and check out my holiday board), I was able to really think about what we’re trying to accomplish. I was able to pinpoint three things that we want to keep at the center of our holiday. And if something comes up that we’re unsure of or if I find myself getting sucked into the vortex of perfection, I can just run it against these three things and decide whether it’s in or out.
And then I’m going to be okay with leaving things out that don’t fit. This might even include traditions that just don’t work for us anymore. Because I control the holiday. The holiday does not control me. Do I sound convincing?
Three things at the center of our holiday:
1) Faith – Yes, there’s the religious faith and devotion that goes along with Christmas. And there’s also faith in other things unseen, like S. Claus. And there’s belief. Being able to ask myself the sometimes hard question, Do I believe this is what Christmas is about? And really listening to the answer. And making choices accordingly.
2) Joy – Does it light up their eyes? Do they talk about it for years to come? Did they make something special? Did they give as thoughtfully as they received? Did they sing as loud as they could? Does this bring us joy? Because if it’s just fine, okay, whatever, it can wait until January.
3) Giving – Are we tapping into the true spirit of generosity? Can we give without any expectation of receiving? Can we truly receive what someone has decided to give? Are we giving of our time and attention as well as things? I want to give consciously and consider the thought and the sentiment beyond the dollar amount or the quantity of things. I want to give not to check items off a list, but to make a real connection.
I’m not trying to overhaul Christmas around here. I just want to make a subtle shift away from the hoopla and toward something a little more real. I want my family to spend our time and energy and resources giving generously and making memories and connecting to the people and things we love. Like coconut macaroons.
Because I believe that coconut macaroons give us joy at Christmas.
See? This is going to be a piece of cake.
No, you know what? I totally get this. All of it. In fact, I turned into the grinch this year and persuaded my husband and the rest of my family to make it a gifts-for-kids-only Christmas. (In fact, I plan to write about that soon.) I just had too much going on to make gifts (my usual M.O.) and we can’t afford to buy everyone something. But it’s been more than this year… the last few years have been tough and I’ve been working really hard to identify what it is that drags me down. I really like how specific your method is for identifying what to keep and what to throw out!
We’ve been trying to scale back for the last couple of years from the buying stuff just to buy it. But it is a constant battle. I have been called a Scrooge and a Grinch and have had to get over it. It isn’t easy, but I feel like every year we make a little more progress. This year I have a self-imposed deadline of December 10th to have the shopping done. I’ve ordered everything online. I will spend the second half of December watching Christmas movies with my kids and drinking too much hot chocolate. Or at least that’s the plan!