Questions to Ask Your Mother

In May 2009, I ripped an article out of Real Simple and mailed it to my mom:

10 Questions to Ask Your Mother.

I don’t remember doing this. But I must have, because on my birthday this year, she returned it to me with answers to all ten questions typed out. It is one of the most special and treasured gifts I’ve received.

Unless you live under a rock, you probably know that it’s Mother’s Day weekend.

You don’t have to skip the brunch, the flowers, the cards, but maybe you could work at least one of these questions into your Mother’s Day conversations. Maybe it would transform Mother’s Day from an obligation to an opportunity for a better understanding of who your mother is as a person.

I’m all for making Mother’s Day less about going through the motions, and more about giving your mother the space to share her experiences. Because, no matter what her answer might be, you’ll probably learn something.

Here are the 10 questions:

1. What’s the one thing you would have done differently as a mother?
2. Why did you choose to be with my father?
3. In what ways do you think I’m like you? And not like you?
4. Which one of us kids do you like the best?
5. Is there anything you always wanted to tell me but never have?
6. Do you think it’s easier or harder to be a mother now than when you were raising your family?
7. Is there anything you regret not having asked your parents?
8. What’s the best thing I can do for you right now?
9. Is there anything that you wish had been different between us–or that you would still like to change?
10. When did you realize you were no longer a child?

And here is the original Real Simple article in you’re interested.

When Kaly doesn’t have her nose in a book, she wrangles and referees two elementary age boys and blogs about her humorous efforts to lead a mindful, connected life. She’s the author of Good Move: Strategy and Advice for Your Family’s Relocation, a book about the craziness of moving with kids. Her writing has been featured on sites such as Mamalode, The Mid, In The Powder Room, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and Scary Mommy to name a few. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.