The countdown is on. From here until the end of the year, we’ll be racing. In some moments we’ll be fueled by joy, but in others we’ll be fueled by fear–fear of disappointing the people that mean the most to us, fear of missing out, fear of not having or being enough.
The days are shorter and filled with more. I’m anticipating feeling like a pot on the edge of over boiling. So much churning, churning.
When everyone around you is speeding up, how can you possibly slow down?
A few weeks ago, we started taking a family walk after dinner. We’re in between sports seasons, and I felt like the boy-energy was off the charts between the clearing of dinner plates and the beginning of the bedtime routine.
At this time of year, it’s as dark as midnight by the time we wrap up dinner. We can’t default to our summer time lines of “Go outside and play,” or “Go to the park.” We were struggling with what to do with this time. We might watch sports or tv as a family. Sometimes the kids would play Legos. Maybe I would straighten up around the house and do some dishes. But during this time I always had a sense of restlessness like I was killing time counting the minutes until bedtime when I could finally do what I want.
One night, fed up with the bickering, wrestling, and assorted shenanigans, I forced everyone into jackets and hats and out the door.
We walked, without any destination in mind.
And something magical happened. Twenty minutes in the cold, crisp air changed the dynamic of our entire evening. The kids got out their extra energy. My husband and I had a few moments to catch up on our day. The physical movement gave me a burst of momentum to get through the bedtime routine without losing my mind.
And the next night we did it again.
And the night after that.
Pretty soon, we had a new routine that was significantly improving our family’s time together. There are only three hours that we all spend together on a regular weekday. Instead of wishing our way toward bedtime, we found a way to be present turning it into something that benefitted us all.
With the busyness of the next few weeks, I worry that we’ll shelve the walk in order to keep up with the increasing demands of the season.
It’s tempting to let one adult stay home and knock some things off their to-do list. But I plan on insisting that anything that had to be done can wait 15 to 20 minutes.
It’s amazing how a simple change of routine can keep my husband and I more connected, help shake out the stuck parts, and increase my patience and energy. It’s a fifteen minute practice that doesn’t cost anything or require anything but shoes and a coat, and it can change the dynamic of your family.
If you liked this or are feeling rattled by the holiday season, you might like…
Three Things At The Center of Our Holiday
When Kaly doesn’t have her nose in a book, she wrangles and referees two elementary age boys and blogs about her humorous efforts to lead a mindful, connected life. She’s the author of Good Move: Strategy and Advice for Your Family’s Relocation a book about the craziness of moving with kids. Her writing has been featured on sites such as Mamalode, The Mid, In The Powder Room, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and Scary Mommy to name a few. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.
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