one second dear, mommy’s busy judging your father’s parenting style #10yearsaparent

Okay, moms. Let’s talk about dads.

It doesn’t really matter how your family is set up. If you’re home with your kid/s during the day while your husband is at work or if you just end up taking the lead on a lot of parenting decisions. Or maybe there’s a 50/50 split.

However your family is set up, this will happen to you.

You will spend hours, days, possibly weeks building system, a routine, holding the line, getting everything just right.

And before you can say…

No more binky in the car seat.

We don’t watch television while we eat breakfast.

You know that you’re dirty clothes don’t belong on the floor.

Bedtime is 7:00 pm sharp…

Your other half with one nod of the head, one teeny-tiny alteration flushes the whole freakin’ thing right down the toilet.

And then you react:

How hard is it?

Do you ever listen? Do you even live here?

Why do I feel like I have an extra child?

Trust me. I know. I get it.

It’s maddening. It’s frustrating. I spent years, years, fighting this battle. Trying to get both parents on the same page, presenting a united front, being consistent.

Under the guise of controlling everything.

Yep, I’m admitting it. When it comes to caring for our children, I wanted the responsibility to be shared as long as I was ultimately in control.

That’s painful to write. Hard to admit. But sometimes, we have to admit when we’re on a little side trip to crazy town.

I’m here to tell you that fighting this battle, trying to maintain control of every aspect of your child’s life is a waste of time.

It’s not only a waste of time. It’s a disservice to your child.

You are not supposed to have two parents that are exactly the same. Think about it. That would be so incredibly weird.

Each parent and each caregiver brings different experiences, and yes, even skills to the table. Each parent has a different threshold for how much they can endure. A different way to handle a situation. A different perspective.

It’s so tempting to yell from the kitchen, That’s not how we do it!

It’s almost impossible to stop yourself from taking over, Forget it! Just let me!

Sure, odds are that you know what works, how to do it better, faster, cheaper, more efficiently. So what?

Try handing over the reigns without standing on the side with that look on your face. You know that look. That look that says, You are an idiot.

Loosen the grip.

Holding on so tightly – not good for the skin, not good for the kids.

If my husband is reading this, he is probably simultaneously grinning ear to ear while madly printing this out and posting it around our house.

What can I say? I’m a work in progress. It only took me ten years to figure this out, and I’ll be implementing it the second Tuesday of every other month.

#tenyearsaparent is a weekly blog series about what I’ve learned in my first ten years as a parent. Whether you’re a parent nodding in agreement or shaking your head with disgust or a non-parent using these posts as birth control (the surgeon general wants me to tell you that reading blog posts about parenting is not an effective form of birth control), I’ll be spilling the beans on what parenting is really all about.