22 things grown ups know

I’ve been keeping this list of life discoveries for the past few months, and I’ve finally decided to bust out the collection and share it with you. It’s by no means comprehensive, but a good place to start.

Here they are – 22 things grown ups know:

1. Your kitchen floor will never be clean. Accept and move on.

2. The first cup of coffee or glass of wine is the best, the second is okay, the third, totally unnecessary.

3. They (your children, co-workers, anyone you spend the bulk of your time with) learned how to talk like that by listening to other people (ahem) talk like that.

4. Picking a neck zit is always a bad idea.

5. Always trust your first instinct when it comes to Instagram filters (or anything else) – 9 times out of 10 you’ll come back to the first one you liked.

6. It’s organic produce if the number on the sticker starts with 9.

7. You should know how to read a map, not just listen to your GPS.

8. It’s tempting to eat burritos five days a week, but keep it to two, three at the most.

9. Nothing lasts forever – your mom doing your laundry, guacamole, teething – it’s all fleeting.

10. There’s a very good chance you won’t like other people’s kids, that’s normal.

11. Frozen yogurt will go away, but it will come back – again.

12. You can never say enough nice things. It’s hard to take back mean things.

13. Memorize the Serenity Prayer. Even if you’re not the praying type, it’s a mantra that comes in handy on an hourly basis.

14. If you don’t know something (like the Serenity Prayer), look it up. But not in the middle of a conversation. It totally kills it.

15. If you haven’t used it in six months, get rid of it.

16. Just because it’s stocked at Whole Foods doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

17. Don’t eat it in bed. It’s just gross.

18. Return your shopping cart when you’re done. You’ll feel good for at least 10 minutes.

19. Don’t go to Target unless you want to spend $100.

20. You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but you should be kind to everyone – always.

21. Yoga pants are for yoga. Even expensive yoga pants are still just for yoga. Get dressed.

22. Chances are no one is talking about you, looking at you or even thinking about you so you can stop worrying.

Have a favorite number? One you want to add to the list? Would love to hear…