the end of a nutella era

Back in April, I shared that I gave up wine for Lent and what I had learned about my relationship with alcohol by stepping away for a few days (40 to be exact).

After my wine experiment, I realized that while I had been able to weather the no-wine challenge, I had allowed myself to be more lenient in other areas.

Basically, I replaced wine with Nutella.

Aren’t you supposed to be low sugar? Or something like that? And yes, I try to be. But during this time, I put down wine and picked up the Nutella.

This is not my first go around with Nutella. In college, I spent a semester in Rome where I was introduced to this smooth, heavenly chocolate spread. The few pounds that I lost early in the semester from walking everywhere quickly snuck back on while I was slathering Nutella on thick white bread several times a day (eating pizza and pasta for every meal didn’t help but, oh the Nutella).

And so a few years ago, we started keeping Nutella around the house. Mainly we spread it on frozen waffles for breakfast, threw on some strawberries, and I patted myself on the back for being so Continental. You can imagine that my kids quickly became fans.

I admit it. I fell hook, line and sinker for Nutella. I thought…

It’s European. Europeans aren’t obese. Europeans are cool. And cultured. If they’re down with Nutella, surely I should be down with Nutella. It’s McDonald’s we really have to worry about.

It has nuts in it. Hazelnuts with a hint of cocoa, that’s what the jar says. It’s basically like peanut butter with some chocolate flavoring.

It doesn’t have artificial flavors (it actually does) or preservatives. It’s made with skim milk. It’s healthier than those toaster strudel things I ate growing up. You know, with the icing packets. I used to just suck the icing right out of the packet. I’m sure that wasn’t made with skim milk. Nutella can’t be worse than that. Or pop tarts.

It must be high-quality, nutritious ingredients because it’s $7.00 for the large jar. $7.00!!! (I mean, I could get the small one but that will be gone by the end of the week.)

We’ve had Nutella around for awhile but it’s when I gave up wine that I started to see our household Nutella intake increase. By a lot. My go-to treat was spreading Nutella on rice cakes and adding a big sprinkle of cinnamon for a quick, easy churro-like concoction – crunchy and sweet and really delicious. On a good day, I would do this once. On a not-so-good day it could be two, three (did I ever hit four?!?!?) times a day.

There are 21g of sugar in two tablespoons of the stuff. No wonder it’s so good.

And so 40 days of not drinking wine became 40 days of inhaling Nutella.

It was a few weeks ago that I finally had to admit to myself that Nutella shouldn’t have a regular spot at my healthy table (although usually I was standing over the counter cramming it in my mouth which is a whole other story of why you should sit and eat and read the ingredients).

I’ve had to get real about my relationship with Nutella and its nonexistent health benefits. It pains me to say that…

Nutella is not good for you. Or even benign for you. It’s just plain bad for you.

I’ve stopped buying Nutella. My kids have finally stopped asking for it. I try not to make eye contact with the jars on the shelf when I’m picking out my peanut butter as if a simple glance could bring me right back into the fold.

Sometimes, you don’t want to know the truth. Sometimes you just want to live in your little European bubble of denial spreading chocolate on everything and chalking it up to worldly sophistication.

Maybe some day I’ll be able to keep a jar of Nutella in my cabinet and just pull it out for special occasions. But not yet. It’s too soon. I’m too sad. And disappointed. And weak.

Goodbye Nutella. I really did love you.