from the front

I am in the Business Center in a Hilton outside of Philadelphia.  I’m not feeling particularly optimistic.  I thought that I had this figured out.  I had the perfect relocation strategy – find where Trader Joe’s has set up shop and find something nearby.  Simple right?  Turning out to be a little more complicated than that.   Or am I just making it so?  As my  youngest said yesterday, “Can’t we just pick a house that’s for sale and buy it?  It’s like a thousand dollars.”  Oh, how I wish.

We’ve spent the last three days in the car.  One day to get down here and two driving around different neighborhoods from city to burbs asking ourselves, “Could we live here?  Do we want to live here?  Would we be happy here?”  And I’m afraid to report that I don’t have any more clarity than when we arrived.  I kind of like everything.  But don’t love anything.  I thought I would know it when I saw it.  I thought I would have this gut feeling and a vision of our lives unfolding.  But nothing is crystallizing.  It’s all a big blur.  The window goes down.  The window goes up.  I’m having a hard time regulating my temperture.

And so we’ll press on.  Doling out the iPad, breaking up the day with swims in the indoor pool, rehashing what we’ve seen, drinking wine by the light of the bathroom while the kids sleep.  Hoping that we’ll come across our new home.

I dream in a frenzy of flashing craigslists posts.  I am ready to sign up for House Hunters.  Three choices sound pretty good right about now.

So I send this out to the universe:

Dear Universe –

I’ll be patient with you, if you’ll be patient with me.

Just don’t leave me hanging for too long.  And if it’s not too much trouble, remember how much I love Trader Joe’s.

XOXOX

K

Right now I can’t get enough of…

Tiny Buddha – This site is where I go when I need a little wisdom – when I feel the panic and anxiety taking over.  I found it when I googled “living with uncertainty” a few weeks ago.  We’ve been hanging out a lot since.