Today is the last day of school.
I kind of went off about summer back in May about how much I dread it. But today, I’m feeling confident. Better. Like I might actually be able to have some fun. Like I might actually enjoy it. Like I might actually get into it.
Where is this coming from? A month ago I was sarcastically listing off summer projects that will never happen, and now I think summer might have some magic in it after all? Well, I listened to a podcast this morning that really helped me change my entire attitude toward summer. I’ll get to that in a minute.
I’m not very sentimental when it comes to my boys, ages eight and seven. I’m not sad to see them grow up. I don’t get teary with each passing year. I don’t miss their younger versions, because they get more and more amazing to me as they get older. I don’t look back and think, They’re growing up so fast! I think, Look at you – I can’t wait to see what’s next! I’m always a little perplexed by parents that seem to be so sad about the passing of time. I just don’t get it. I want to pull them aside and whisper, What am I missing? I thought things were getting better?
This morning I was listening to the inaugural version of the Parenting Adventures podcast (which is a great show about how to engage your kids and deal with the I’m boooored’s… and I don’t know what to do’s…) and the host/Mike/a dad was talking about how he recently had a revelation that he’s been focused on all the wrong things and has missed so much of his own kid’s childhood. And that’s when I started to shift my perspective on summer. I mean, he literally plays part of Cats in the Cradle. If that’s not a wake-up call, then I’m not sure what is.
For the record, I did not cry. But I did squint a little into the middle distance. And I had a moment. A moment when I realized summer is going to happen. It is happening. And 89% of our experience will be my attitude toward it. I can either go all in, or I can resist it. I can choose to have fun, or I can choose to dig my heels in and lament my temporary loss of independence.
Mike also talks about a reprogramming of sorts and this is what really got me good. My kids need some good old-fashioned re-programming, detox, whatever you want to call it. We need to get out of our ruts, break some bad habits, and try some new things. They’re too dependent on screens (as am I) and have come to expect treats and think the solution to boredom is buying something new.
Yes, re-programming is in order, and they are not going to be able to do that completely on their own. That’s just way, way too much to expect. I want to be in the school of thought that sends them outside and says survive, have fun, figure it out but that’s just not going to happen on day one. That can’t be my strategy out of the gate, or we will all be doomed to misery.
On the last part of the podcast, Mike interviews two wonderful women (British accents alone can make someone wonderful right?) that wrote a book about sticks, called The Stick Book and all the wonderful, interesting things that you can do with sticks. My first reaction was, sticks, yep, I know exactly what you can do with your sticks, but as I listened more and heard their ideas I was becoming a complete convert (those British accents really are charming). They had simple ideas that seemed easy to implement. Nothing that required a trip to Michael’s to stock up on supplies or anything fancy. The basic message was get outside and make it fun.
By the end of the morning, I was thinking, yes, I can do this. We’re going to have fun. We’re going to have a good summer. I can enthusiastically lead stick brigades.
Because there aren’t many more summers where I will have the priveledge.
You can check out the Parenting Adventures podcast here if you’re looking for your own summer epiphany.
Have a very real weekend. And happy summer.
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