Traveling is always an adventure, throwing out tests left and right.
What do you do if you accidentally check your ID in your luggage? (Beg security.)
How many times will the kid in the seat behind you throw up? (Four.)
How many hours can you live on Starbucks alone? (Six. Maybe eight.)
How many bagels will your kids eat in one day? (Three. At least.)
You have to be flexible. You have to be prepared and ready for anything.
On our way home from Florida at the end of our recent vacation, we were put to the test.
Flying from Fort Myers to Philadelphia via Charlotte, we would be home for dinner.
Once we got to the gate on the Fort Myers end, we learned that there had been an aircraft change. The flight was oversold.
Would anyone like to volunteer?
We can offer $600 credit per person, transferable, no black out dates and rebooked to get into Philadelphia on a direct flight at 10:00pm that same night.
To bump or not to bump?
Standing at the counter weighing our options…What’s a few more hours (seven) in the airport? What’s getting home a little bit later?
I said yes, hell yes. Free money. Sign me up.
My husband said no, hell no. Get me on a plane and get me home.
What??? I already mentally booked our next vacation. The $600 per person was already spent.
Tropical drinks were yanked out of my hands. Ski poles were ripped from my claws and tossed aside. I desperately clung to a warm, flakey croissant as it was stolen from me and tossed directly into the Seine.
We were not on the same page. And disappointed doesn’t even begin to cover it.
But we had no time to stand around mulling it over, because we needed to get on the plane pronto. We had four separate seats in four very different parts of the airplane and had to start negotiating trades.
My kids look older, old enough to sit alone with their oversized basketball shorts and their faces buried deep in the world of Minecraft. But they’re only seven and eight. Not old enough to sit alone. And eight rows away wasn’t close enough.
After some intense maneuvering, we were able to get two of our four seats together. But no one was biting on my prime seat by the bathroom smelling very distinctly like airplane bathroom chemicals.
Kevin was wedged in a middle seat between two linebackers. Also a tough sell.
So we put the boys together. They would be alone without an adult but at least when the plane plunged into the Atlantic Ocean, they would have each other.
Kevin went over to give them a very loud pep talk. Hoping someone might get the message and suck it up and switch:
OKAY GUYS. YOU ARE SITTING ALONE. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO BE SICK OR NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM JUST WAVE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR BECAUSE MOM AND DAD ARE VERY, VERY FAR AWAY AND WE WON’T BE ABLE TO GET UP UNTIL THE FASTEN SEATBELT LIGHT GOES OFF WHICH WILL PROBABLY BE ABOUT 20 TO 30 MINUTES AFTER WE TAKE OFF. HOPEFULLY WE WON’T HAVE TO TAXI FOR TOO LONG. HOPEFULLY YOU DIDN’T EAT TOO MUCH EASTER CANDY.
No one stirs. No one even looks up.
Meanwhile, in the back of the plane I’m fuming. Glaring at Kevin, trying to sear on to his brain:
I hope you’re happy. We’re on this horrible plane just like you wanted.
My future vacations are cancelled, and my kids will die alone.
So I decided to corner the flight attendant.
Me: Can you keep any eye on my boys in 14? You know, in case something happens. They’re sitting up there alone.
Flight attendant: Like what?
Me: Well, you know, just make sure they’re okay.
(I’m trying not to cry.)
Flight attendant: I’m not sure what you mean.
(Who’s going to put their oxygen masks on when the cabin loses air pressure you idiot?!?!? Are you’re going to make me say it? Out loud??!?!)
Me: Well, you know if they have to put their electronics away and they’re not paying attention and don’t do it at the right time…
(Voice cracking, tears welling.)
Flight attendant: What kind of electronics do they have?
Me: ipads.
Flight attendant: They don’t have to put those away.
Me: Oh, okay.
(Thanks so freakin much!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Before Kevin squeezes into his middle seat, he makes one more attempt at asking if anyone will switch. Finally someone relents, and my family is reunited.
Except for me. I’m still back by the bathroom sulking about my never booked dream vacations and wondering who will help me if the cabin loses pressure.
Just as planned, we’re home for dinner.
Love it! I can see the whole event unfolding through the writing. hilarious!
Thanks Meagan! It took me a week to be able to think it was funny…
Thank you so much for the laughter this morning! Been there so many times. What a crack-up!
You are very welcome! Thanks for sharing on FB and Twitter.
Love this post! You have such a gift. We have all been there but you have the ability to take the everyday occurance and articulate it in such a way that we all nod our heads and say, “Yes! Exactly!” I will admit being a touched traumatized as I read it! I was yelling at my I-Phone “Don’t make her say it!” when I read your exchange with the flight attendant. My throat caught at times as I relived the experience through your eyes. I glared at my husband (who happened to be sitting next to me as I read your post) and rolled my eyes as I felt the imaginary tropical drink being ripped from your hands. And I felt the seething as I sat in the back of the plane next to the bathroom as the rest of your family was “reunited.” But the line that keeps coming back to me is “Just as planned, we’re home for dinner.” It kinds of reminds us that, after all the ups and downs, life goes on. Thank you! P.S. I don’t think I will ever turn down a parent who requests a seat change after this!
Yes, life does go on. Although it did take a full flight and layover in Charlotte for me to start moving past my lost vacations!
So funny! It makes me laugh and I needed it! Thank you.
Happy that the experience was able to evolve into something that made people laugh – I was definitely NOT laughing at the time! But with a little distance I was finally able to see how ridiculous the whole thing was.
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